Out of the darkness

Darkness and light

With darkness there can be light. Regular columnist Sharon Tregoning explains how there can be gifts even from the darkest events.

We see it time and time again. There will be some catastrophic natural disaster or some man-made horror and there are massive outpourings of compassion, love, healing and support. We have seen fundraising and humanitarian efforts on a huge scale created in seemingly no time that make a real and powerful difference in the lives of those impacted by such events. Beautiful gifts out of dark and horrible events.

Then on a more individual level, we see the creation of something that changes the lives of so many people as a result of a tragedy. I think specifically at the moment of Denise and Bruce Morcombe, creators of the Daniel Morcombe Foundation. For those of you who aren’t aware of this couple and the amazing work they do, they started the foundation after their son Daniel, disappeared from a bus stop. As it has turned out, a man has been charged with Daniel’s murder, so I won’t discuss that aspect any further as the trial is currently underway.

Yet out of this experience they have created a most beautiful gift that serves others.

Denise and Bruce have been through every parent’s worst nightmare, yet they created a foundation that seeks to ensure that every child is protected, educated and supported in their lives. Would we have wished the tragedy of their son’s disappearance and death on them? Absolutely not. Yet out of this experience they have created a most beautiful gift that serves others. You can find out more about the amazing work that Denise and Bruce do by going to www.DanielMorcombe.com.au.

For others, there can be the gift of organ donation, so that while one life is lost, numerous others may have the opportunity to continue. Another gift from a heartbreaking event for the loved ones involved.

So often gifts can be received from the experience of a loved one’s death. Yet we do not see much focus on these gifts. It’s not about diminishing the impact of your grief, it’s about focusing on another possible aspect and expressing authentic gratitude for this side of the experience. And sometimes, being able to see these gifts makes the experience of grief much easier.

The main one has been absolute clarity of my life purpose.

In my own experience, I have received a number of gifts on a very personal level from the death of some of my very precious loved ones. The main one has been absolute clarity of my life purpose to assist others in dealing with their experience of grief. I believe that to be truly effective as a grief counsellor you have to be absolutely trampled and torn apart by grief. And then put yourself back together again.  Then you are in a position to truly understand just how soul shattering deep grief can be. I give thanks for having received this gift and being able to serve others.

Do you have an experience where you have received an unexpected gift as a result of the death of a loved one?  They say that each of us has at least one book in us, but writing a whole book can be a really scary concept, not to mention a whole heap of work. Writing can also be a very cathartic experience which can provide healing for you.

I have recently launched an opportunity for you to become a published author, to share your story without having to do all the work by co-authoring with yours truly. Grieving With Grace is about sharing inspiring, heartfelt, uplifting, real life stories of people who have received unexpected gifts from the death of a loved one. To find out more about how you can participate, simply go to www.GrievingWithGrace.com. There is also a sign up box to be made aware of when the book is available.

The death of a loved one and grief are inevitable experiences at some point in time in our lives. How we traverse those experiences will in part depend on how we allow ourselves to see it. Being able to identify a gift or gifts might just make it that little bit gentler. And I’m all for making life gentler and living by the language of grace and ease.


Sharon Tregoning

Sharon Tregoning

Sharon Tregoning is a Grief Counsellor, Death Midwife, Psychic/Medium and and Holistic Mentor. She holds a Diploma in Counselling and is currently studying a Bachelor of Divinity. Head to http://sharontregoning.com/ to learn about Sharon.


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