Kim Morrison is a truly inspirational woman, but like most of us she has experienced life’s raw ups and downs. Here, Kim let’s us in to an extremely personal experience that showed her the value of self-worth and that we are all part of the ripple effect.
I watch my beautiful (almost) 16 year-old daughter embrace her beauty, her skills, her knowledge, her physicality, health and her self-worth daily. It is a wonderful thing to watch as she grows into quite a remarkable young woman. Not hearing her speak like a number of her peers is a breath of fresh air. Watching her take good care of her body, her skin and her hair, her school-work, her bedroom, her possessions and her life is truly magnificent. As a mother I don’t think you would ask for anything more.
It has made me wonder lately where does that sense of self-worth come from. More importantly how I pray she will always know how to keep a hold of that strong, powerful conviction and self-belief that she is somebody of importance and real worth.
A few days ago I was holding a SPArkle event at my head office. A couple of hours to give the women who attended some time out for themselves, a chance to learn new things around health and well-being and hopefully offer love, care, inspiration and a feeling of hope using powerful tools like essential oils. Towards the end of that talk one of the ladies shared the news about Charlotte Dawson. Like a lot of us I was devastated. I had met Charlotte briefly so there is no way she would know who I am or what I do, but a part of me felt like I knew her and it hit hard. How sad. How incredibly, utterly, terribly sad.
It is well known Charlotte had been battling depression and anxiety for years. Her public stance on supporting a ban on cyber bullying was incredibly vocal too. After hearing the news of her death, I went home and hugged my daughter. I could not stop telling her how much she is valued, loved and how I admired her strength, her demeanour and her inner beauty. I almost pleaded with her that she knows I am always here if she ever needs someone to talk to. Her innocent teenage eyes looked at me – almost rolling – but acknowledging the offer and yet seeming like she would never need that support.
Those of you reading this will know it is highly likely at some point (maybe a few points) that she will definitely need that help, that love, support and knowledge that she is worthy, she is loved and is wanted by all who know her. I remember Marlon Brando saying in an interview a few years back at 82 years of age that ‘No one goes throughout life without the meat cleaver hitting. No one’.
The question is how do we get up and breathe through those meat cleaver moments? How do we navigate through that pain and keep going, believing and hoping? How do you know that in time this too shall pass?
The question is how do we get up and breathe through those meat cleaver moments?
I myself I have been on my bathroom floor with news so bad I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t pick myself up. I couldn’t talk and worse than that, even though I was a mother, even though I had a business and people depended on me, I did not care. In those dark moments I think it was the closest I got to appreciating and understanding what depression must be like. I remember Danny (my husband), Tayla who was 11 at the time and Jakob my gorgeous son who was 10 all looking at me in horror, disbelief and dismay as they had never seen me lose it and fall apart like that. It frightened all of them. As I lay in the foetal position sobbing uncontrollably I told them all to go away, to leave me alone.
But Jakob refused to go.
He insisted I tell him what was wrong. He wouldn’t go away so through the tears I told my abbreviated story. I told him how devastated I was to lose my 95 year old grandmother that week, that I didn’t know if my marriage to his father would survive – we had lost our home through a property deal that went wrong and worse than that his beautiful sister had taken her life. Danny just was not coping and had given up on life and on himself.
I told Jakob that the money I had earmarked to pay for the publication of my new book had just been lost through a major financial institution collapse and that I had no idea if that book Like Chocolate For Women and my dream, my new Twenty8 chemical-free skincare and aromatherapy business, would ever survive with that capital investment now all gone. It was just too much I told him, too many things all hitting me at once that it felt like a tidal wave had hit and I just could not take anymore. I couldn’t breathe. And what was the point anymore?
He looked at me sad and then angrily told me to stop crying and listen up. He said I had taught him to never ever give up (don’t you hate that when they use your teachings right back at you!). He told me that Like Chocolate For Women and Twenty8 were massive diamonds sitting in the middle of a massive mountain. And my problem was I was trying to get to those diamonds with nail clippers. I instantly stopped sobbing and parted my fingers across my eyes to see his face.
The massive diamonds you know are in there will be before your eyes and your job then will be to share them and make them shine even more.
He said, ‘Mum if you promise me you won’t give up then I will promise you that if we keep going then people are going to join us and bring hack saws, spades and picks to help you get into that mountain. And if you still don’t give up then I promise you they will bring diggers and bull-dozers and we will shift massive parts of that mountain. And then Mum, if you hold onto that dream and keep working hard then someone is going to hand you the TNT dynamite stick and you will push down on that baby and the mountain will explode before your eyes and there it will be … the massive diamonds you know are in there will be before your eyes and your job then will be to share them and make them shine even more’.
I could not believe what I just heard. He had me stunned by silence until I asked him through my tired, bewildered, sniffling voice; ‘Jakob, honey where did that come from?’ I was gob-smacked he even knew such information. He looked at me with a cheeky look in his eye and said ‘Well actually Mum it’s this really cool PlayStation game and I was wondering if I could get it?!’
Whenever I am down or feeling like giving up, I picture my 10 year old son lying on the end of the bed looking down at me telling me this story. Even though he will never ever realise the analogy or timing, neither will he probably ever understand the humour and his ability to tell it like it is was the catalyst I needed to pick myself up off that floor and decide in that moment I was worth it, they were worth it, and to fight on, I am so grateful he said it and that I listened.
Whenever we are struggling in life it’s not a case of running from it or hiding it.
When the mind is being the demon I think we need someone or something stronger offering help. We also have to be willing to hear that help and do whatever it takes to keep going. My darling 86 year old French counsellor, such a wise soul, told me whenever we are struggling in life it’s not a case of running from it or hiding it. Instead, imagine how we would teach our children, our close friends, those we love – how to get through those tough times.
She said you have to feel it to heal it. I like that. What has been has been, what will be will be. Trust. Breathe. Just focus on who you are in the now – that is all you have. You have to appreciate there is my business, your business and universal business. The only business she told me to focus on is my business. It is none of my business what anyone else thinks of me.
She appreciated my marriage was hurt and that it would never be the same. However, she also said it’s thanks to this bump in our road, and the fact we have chosen to work on ourselves and each other that actually our marriage could be even better than it ever was. I have never forgotten those words of healing and encouragement. And I can honestly say four and a half years on she was right. Sometimes we have to hit rock-bottom in order to put a foot on the ground and push ourselves back up.
Just focus on who you are in the now – that is all you have.
Maybe it has been this honesty, this ability to let my children and those I love know I am hurting. Maybe it is being open to their advice, their love, kindness and support that has helped me get back up and see my sense of worth. Maybe it is the angels that I feel around me, that I talk to in times of need, that quietly whisper and prove to me I am worth it, that has me fight on when I feel so hurt, lost or upset?
I really don’t know. I can’t imagine what Charlotte Dawson was thinking or feeling to get to that level of disconnect. That poor, beautiful soul. I just pray she is free from all that pain now. We need to not let her die in vain, talk about it and learn from it.
I don’t know what has my son and daughter believe in themselves except that maybe it is their youth, maybe it is my vulnerability, my husband’s vulnerability, things like Charlotte Dawson’s death and us all talking about that helps. Maybe our weaker moments can become their strengths. Maybe that’s what it is – we need to see others vulnerabilities to see in ourselves our own strengths. No judgments. No opinions. Just be our truth. Maybe our rough times are actually imperfectly perfect and nothing more than a gift, an opportunity for self-growth. I know His Holiness told me in a one on one in the Himalayas a few years ago that we need light to understand dark, big to understand small, black to understand white, sorrow to understand joy, hate to understand love.
I seriously still do not know the answer. But what I do know is having appreciation, being grateful and aiming to be a victor, not a victim is the way I pull myself up.
Most importantly I have come to learn than kindness, caring for others and showing my love is what truly matters.
It is thanks to all these things; my beautiful counsellors, having faith, good books, meditation, amazing friends, my husband, my children, family and followers that I get myself up each day. It is how I continue to put myself out there and share what I have learned with beautiful souls like you.
Most importantly I have come to learn than kindness, caring for others and showing my love is what truly matters.
I have not gone through all my life’s lessons and amazing experiences to not be something grander than I could ever imagine. We are all part of a ripple effect, my thoughts, feelings and actions impact all of those around me. I have chosen to make it my job, my goal, my responsibility, my intention and my right to show the world I am me, to never ever give up, to know I am okay and to truly believe I am worth it. I also have to accept we each have our own way and our own journey.
My final message … be kind. If you don’t like something that someone else says or does do we really need to say what we think or knock them? My favourite words when I feel challenged that way are ‘Oh wow that’s interesting!’ Trust me it helps! I really think if we could practice more kindness then there would be no such thing as low self-esteem or self-worth. Everyone would feel loved and wanted. Maybe then no one would ever feel alone. So why don’t you put it into practice right now and say something nice, go message, phone, text, email or hug those that are important to you and let them know you care, that you appreciate them and most importantly let them know they are loved.
Kim Morrison set a world record as the youngest female to run 100miles in less than 24 hours. Cliff Young was her mentor throughout and still to this day lives by his ethos that success is 90 per cent mental and 10 per cent physical. She has used her running story as a direct metaphor for life – riding the highs, hitting the walls, pushing through the pain barriers, crossing the line and never, ever giving up! She believes combining your inner power and passion, applying your commitment and having truckloads of self-belief is what distinguishes you as an achiever and someone who is passionate about life. It’s about visualising your dream and going for it – regardless of the feedback you receive or the challenges you face. As a five-times best-selling author, creative director of Twenty8 and a multi-tasking mum and wife, Kim shares the essential tools for self-care, discipline, leadership and teamwork and most of all how to shine and have an attitude with sparkle. www.kimmorrison.com
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